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I take no pride in acknowledging that at times I can be a pretty moody person, and that my mood swings can be swift and sudden. I often find that days can be like emotional roller coasters, brilliant mornings, happy afternoons, and a totally despicable evening. What aggravates this problem for me is my inborn cynicism which makes it more likely then not that a bad mood will continue for days.

Its the queerest feeling, knowing that your in a bad mood, despising the world and the people that inhabit it, wondering why you’re even bothering to stick around in such a den of infamy, but knowing also at the same time that its just my brain being stupid and moody, suggesting dumb and stupid things and trying to aggravate the self pity the down mood is feeding upon. Side by side with that is a feeling that “this too, shall pass”, knowing that perhaps tomorrow or the day after, I’ll get up and everything will be fine with the world, that the sun will stream through the window and reflect of the mirrors bathing the world in light, that the breeze will blow swiftly through the windows and the curtains will greet it with a gentle wave.

The thing I’m starting to learn is that emotions are not unidirectional, they alter your actions and moods but your action and mood can also transform your emotions. If in a foul mood one smiles, instantly happier thoughts fly by, good times shared with friends, fun times now passed, and the faked smile turns into a happy one, a genial chuckle escapes as libation to times gone by, and hopefully good times to come, to friends far from sight but alive in the heart. And one is happy again.

What a powerful change when you realise that its not in chemical control, but instead in your control. What a power to use and harness.

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