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I think over the last few months, as I’ve become more aware of what I want to be and where I want to go, I have also developed another change, the import of which I am still trying to come to terms with, and especially to decide whether it amounts to a regression or a step forward.

I had what might be called a declining sense of humour. For a long time, from about 15 onwards, I had what I considered pretty high wit and sophisticatary in my sense of humour. I enjoyed the sharp pun, the sophisticated play on words. It was perhaps a manifestation of a desire to be more mature then I was, but it also is just the way my sense of humour developed. I never developed a taste for British black humour though; it was always more attuned to the finer word play then black depression coupled with either embarrassment or derision.

For the last few months I’ve found that I enjoy and am becoming to really appreciate the normal humour that is prevalent in every day life. In a way it marks a regression to the norm in that I like to watch and enjoy many of the shows that are now on mainstream TV, stuff like Friends and the much more superior Scrubs, make life much more enjoyable. I enjoy movies that I would find patent nonsense a little while ago. The Fantastic Four was good enough to enjoy and there were bits that were laugh out loud. Bruce Almighty and Jim Carey generally, which was slapstick humour that got a chuckle but a lot of rolled eyes has been rehabilitated as a good pick me up movie, fun stuff to get into a fun mood. It’s a big change.

Simultaneously I am actually finding much more humour in life. The absurd, the irrational, the silly and the stupid walk by us everyday in the street, a view from your window will show more comedy to the discerning eye then the most exquisitely planned comedy scene. There is an implicit joy in life that I feel I am tapping into for the first time, it brings a little bit of a smile to my life. There is a surrealism about life, that somehow what people think about life, all their worries and concerns, so weighed down on their way to their every day burdens is actually humorous. People don’t see the humour that I think you need to ferret out of life. For me both these things have become something that I find amusing. I found the second one all my life, but for the first time the actual rather then the intellectual world is a source of entertainment for me.

I’d like to think it’s a step in the right direction, an internalization of the quote that there is no reason to take life seriously, given that you’re never going to get out of it alive, that there is a certain logic in just enjoying the ride, understanding that it is a ride rather then anything more weighty then that. We are here for a little while, a few instances of the blinks of the cosmic eye. We might as well smile while we are here.

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One Comment

    • Domhttp://www.xanga.com/behappy168
    • Posted December 3, 2005 at 4:41 pm
    • Permalink

    I am glad you have made some progress in this regard. I am still figuring out mine but your article gave me some ideas. Can’t wait for us to meet again — I just can’t visualize a Mo who laughs at Karan or Ryan’s silly comments instead of countering with a wittier reply.


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