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Function: noun
Etymology: google.com

The ability to quickly answer any given question using internet resources, such as a search engine, specifically Google.

I’m pretty damn fed up of answering stupid questions. Inane annoying questions that ask whether I can find X for someone. Or do I know of any Y. Or where could they find Z.

Stupid questions that no one should be answering in the age of Wikipedia, Google and the Interweb. Especially not from fucking twenty-somethings or teens who should know how this shit works.

When I ask what research they’ve done themselves, I get the answer I expected – none. They can’t be arsed to find their own information. Just pass it on to me. And they know that I’ll usually get them an answer within a few minutes.

How do I do that? Cause I have a minor bit of Google-Fu. I know how to use a fucking search engine. Its a public search engine. Which means that if you were arsed you could learn it too. They don’t hide the information. There’s no secret fucking handshake. Its pretty damn intuitive if you’ve got more then two ounces of spare logic. And if you practice it a couple of times, keep that link somewhere handy, slowly you’ll remember what operators do what. I know, fucking learning – who would have thought you could do that.

So what am I going to do about it? I’m going to stop  enabling. You can answer your little queries. I’m going to be an unhelpful jackass like most other people are. I’m going to say inane useless comments like “Have you tried Google?” or “maybe Wikipedia has something”. Or best of all “hmm..dunno”.

What I’m not going to do is look for it myself. If you can’t find it – well I don’t give two shits. Your inability to find basic information on the vastest trove of collective knowledge humanity has ever generated is a problem. Specifically, its your problem. And you need to solve it. Yourself.

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2 Comments

    • md
    • Posted May 18, 2007 at 11:04 pm
    • Permalink

    lol. you care enough to write an entire post on it.. :p

  1. And then there are those who don’t know how to use the address bar: they type “Microsoft” into Google and click on the first link.

    So where can I find the website of that Google-fu definition? I can’t be stuffed Googling it myself. 😛


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