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I’m in the middle of writing a Defense and Counterclaim, for a fictional client with a fictional problem. I hope it’ll make Wendy (My civil litigation tutor, who is not the frumpy grumpy woman she was at the first class) happy and earn me a nice fat 100%, but I’ll stop my pursuit of the fictional for just a few minutes.

This deserves a response.

I’m loath to write comments on Jeff’s Xanga. That tetchy tart  keeps deleting posts, and when he deleted this post, he’d delete my comment, and in his roguish way, delete a little bit of me.

He’ll get a link.

He’d get a trackback if Xanga enabled those. 

To save my equally tetchy reader, the epic journey across the Internet Tubes, I’ll quote his whole post so you know what I’m responding too.

I don’t have his permission, so this is a tragic breach of copyright. I feel confident that I won’t be served with a interim injunction from Jeff to protect his IP Rights. He’s too busy living la vida loca to bother with law outside of the summer:

“wandering the depths of kylemore abbey.

determined no longer to squander my youth on meaningless pursuits.

I will not. cannot. turn out that way.”

You know me. You know where I’m going with this. I’m going to take objection to this post. I’m treating line one as preamble Jeff’s way of giving us context, and showing off the amazing sights he’s experiencing. There’s going to be an explicit joinder of issue in regard to lines two. That’s where the focus is.

Foremost, I’m stuck by the contrast. Just as Jeff embraces the serious, engages with the infinite possibilities, and vows to endure the academic heavy lifting that he will face in both Dublin and Oxford, I find myself drifting towards the opposite condition.

More than anything in the last few months, what I have found most richly rewarding is the Meaningless. What I want to do more than anything else, are those things that in the big picture are Meaningless.

Yes I’m capitalizing Meaningless for the hell of it. It is Meaningless too. Or it’s not. I’ve a reason why I’m capitalizing Meaningless. Just because I came up with Reason after I started doing it doesn’t make it a bad reason. No its not a justification.

It’s because that’s the kind of Meaningless Jeff is referring too. I feel that he means big picture |Meaningless|. Meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Meaningless in the context of the tens of billions of years of old Sol and its billions of years old Terran servant.

The kind of Meaningless, I feel, that is meaningless.

Without the capital ‘M’.

We live in a world that is hyper-structured. Everyone is caught in the quest for Meaning, the Search for Reasons and the Quest of Why (these are technical terms) that they live in a world devoid of the Present. of Now. We’re so fixed looking down the line, that we have scant appreciation for the possibilities of the moment. Doing something big, something small that is without substance is mentally satisfying. It reverberates at a deep level and you feel revitalized.

This is because, most importantly, it is the Meaningless that defines us.

My writing will never be published. My poetry will never catch the attention of the Nobel Committee awarding the prize for literature. They are Meaningless. Those moments of audacity and bravery, which scared me so much and amounted to so little, are Meaningless. The friend I made today, will not endure for Eternity. I may not be talking to him next week.

But to me they are the significant markers of being. They are the little things I do that are surreal, small and strange. They are the things that make me happy, they are the things that create the memorable moments. They are the moments I’m proud of. That I tell other people about.

And so, to Jeff I offer this as my comment :

You can turn out that way. You must turn out that way. To be otherwise, denies the true nature of You, and what it means to be You in this time and place.

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One Comment

  1. perhaps the problem lies in your definition of ‘meaningless’. i totally agree that life is made up of small moments, moments rooted in the present; the difference is that to me, those moments, my ‘pursuits’, are NOT meaningless, even in the bigger picture. how can they be, when the bigger picture is made up of small elements?


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  1. By A Sur-Joinder « A Disorganised Mind on 12 Nov 2007 at 7:16 pm

    […] I have mixed feelings upon reading this post. It is Jeff’s response to this post, and in a like vein to its predecessors, I address this post as well, to […]

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