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By Scarleth White - Writing has always been vital to my essence, first its consumption and later its creation; but in the last three months, I haven’t scribbled a jot that has grasped my inner turmoil and constructed a semblance of order. 

This is a votive offering to bring me back towards the right path. The right path emphasises the necessity of gratitude.  I thought it fitting to begin with a brief summation of things I’m grateful for in the last few days.

  1. I got out of the office today in time to make it to markaz for the majlis tonight.  I’ve been feeling the death of my spiritual side for some time; this has given a boost. For that burst of life I’m grateful.
  2. I enjoyed swapping emails with James yesterday. Its good to know that this experience is the common heritage of all trainees. I don’t save many emails – but I’m saving these. I’m grateful that I have their writer as a friend.
  3. A lot of people ask me about what kind of music I like – and my professed truth is I don’t have any particular preference.  Today, during the majlis, I realised otherwise:  the music embedded in my life is the madeh of aale-mohammed.  That’s what I hum in a lift,  those are the ‘songs’ for which I know all the words and these are the words that move my soul. For that burst of self-realisation, and the happiness which it brings I’m grateful.
  4. I’ve been making much more quiet time in the last few days. Moments away from machines, unreachable, are essential to my equilibrium.  That equilibrium careened out of balance and I’m finally fighting to restore it.  For that endeavour, I’m grateful.
  5. They’re running a criminal background check! You don’t do that unless you’re serious right?  I don’t know if that’s necessarily the case – it might be an abundance of caution and merely one step in a long march. I’m grateful that I enjoy the absurdity of celebrating a police investigation.